Testimonials

 

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My testimonial

I have tired to commit suicide 3 times in the past. My life has been a hard one, with physical, sexual, marriage, and mental abuse. I'm now 34 yrs. old, and I'm still dealing with the pain, but each day it gets easier, and better. Yes I have the Lord in my life, as well as friends and family. I have learned that I am a person, that I can feel pain, that it wasn't my fault, that it is O.K. to show emotions. I didn't know that I could do that before, now I do. I will not go into detail about how I tried to kill myself, but I will say that I thank God that I did not succeed in doing so. There really is hope, and love in this world. I know when you are down, that it is very hard to see out of that hole, but there is a light shinning for you to find. There help available, with people that care about you, as I do. Don't give up just yet, give yourself a chance to show the world, it can not win. I hope you all the best, and Remember, Not only does Jesus Love you, but So do I. God Bless.

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Mailed in: 2-04-00

I have done many horrible things in my lifetime. I have shamed my name and the names of many others. I was at the lowest of lows, and now I am experiencing something different, peace. Although I am only 17, I have experienced a wide assortment of emotions. I have felt a way no one should ever be alowed to feel, I felt depression. I got mixed up with the wrong crowd early in life, I used drugs, alcohol and sex to tranquilize my senses. I used them as an escape from what my life was really like. I hid from my problems by using drugs, I hid from the fact that I was molested as a child, beaten as an adolescent, and as I was just starting my teen years I was told I was going to die. So I hid in the substances to get away from reality. I never really enjoyed the alcohol, or drugs I just did them to fit in and lull my senses. The sex was a way for me to be loved for a brief moment in time for me. During these evergrowing habits I became skilled in football, and started varsity my freshman year. The popularity just fueled my fire, it gave me girls, easy access to drugs, and very easy access to alcohol. But in my 15 minutes of fame, everything came tumbling down. In the summer of my freshman year I was diagnosed with a terminal disease, familial disautonomia. This disease effects everything involuntary in my body, my blood flow, heart beat, breathing, blinking, crying, feeling, digestion, and so on. It put me in the hospital for most of the summer and over a semester of my sophomore year. That was when I was told I was going to die. That sunk me into depression and within weeks of finding out the news I was planning my own death. I attempted suicide, and realized that by killing myself I would never know the truth about anything, I placed myself into a hospital. In the mental institution, surrounded by other suicidal patients, and other people with mental disabilities I found god. I had no formal training in the church, I had never attended a church service in my life, but through some divine inspiration I came to know christ. When this happened a veil was lifted from my head, and blanket, and with it left everything, all my hate, rage, sadness, everything. God did in one minute what a years worth of medication could not even do. He pulled me out of depression and he saved my life. He did for me what no one could've or would've done for a druggy who just wanted it to end. If not for god, i would not be here to tell my story. This is not my whole story, if you want to know more, contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. , there is so much more to know. But just remember if God is with you, who can be against you. Suicide should not even be a choice, but for me is was, and for others it still is. If you ever need to talk to anyone, talk to someone who knows what it feels like to have no one, to not be loved. And no matter what the obstacle, no matter what the problem, God is with you.

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Remember Suicide IS NOT an option

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